


After the Fall

by LilMinHee



Category: GOT7
Genre: Eventual Smut, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Melodrama, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, References to Depression, i guess, some strong language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilMinHee/pseuds/LilMinHee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a car crash Mark wakes up in a hospital room, only slowly realising, that his life is about to change due to rather unexpected reasons. Jackson stays by his side and takes care of him during those hard times, when he begins to notice the feelings Mark had towards him for years.</p><p>"On one side I always hated to make other people worry about me - be it fans, family or friends - I rather dealt with my problems alone, but on the other side I was actually happy that someone was with me and I knew that especially Jackson would help me wherever he could."</p><p>(inspired by the song "After the Fall" by Kodaline)</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Fall

**Author's Note:**

> First, I am sorry for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes I made, I did the best I could since English is not my first language.  
> Second, I admit that I am slow in updating fanfictions and even worse in completing one, but I'll do my best to keep this updated (given that people like it and want me to continue, so see this as kind of pilot chapter).
> 
> Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I don't own any of the characters used in this fanfiction and the characters don't represent their actual selves in real life. Please don't repost this fanfiction or translate it without permission. Don't claim it as your own. Any similarities to other stories are coincidental.

 

**_The last thing I saw before losing consciousness, was our van crashing into a huge truck that headed towards us with full speed and a bright light. The last thing I heard, and I mean the last thing, were the frightened screams of the others in the car followed by silence and then the unbearable sound of bending metal and shattering glass, that I wished I never had experienced to hear. Everything around me slowly got blurry and moved in slow motion which made it even worse for me. It was more than terrifying - just impossible to tell how this whole situation actually felt - and I would never want to even remember it either. The thoughts I had then, were how much I loved everyone, my family, the members, all my friends and the fans. I even saw my life rushing by in front of me, but the very last thing in my mind then was his smiling face. The smiling face that cheered me up since day one and I wish he would’ve known how thankful I was. I wish I could’ve told him, but I was sure this was it. I was sure I lost my chance and that my life was over now._ **

**_Everything went black._ **

 

Never even imagining that I would, I woke up in a hospital room with white walls, white ceiling, white floor - white everything, except for some colourful flowers I found next to the bed I was laying on. It was a pretty big room, an expensive VIP room I figured, since It had a sofa, a fancy glass table, huge cupboards and also a huge TV which was why it looked pretty noble despite the lack of colour. Well, I was an Idol after all.

I had some bandages around my waist, left foot and knee, whilst my left arm was in plaster. The crash must have hit me pretty hard, and I was probably in the worst situation, considering that I sat at the front of the car. It smelled like disinfectant and everything was so quiet you could hear a needle falling, which I found kinda scary, but it was probably because I haven’t come to all my senses yet that I didn’t perceive all the sounds going on around me. Hearing was always the last sense to come to me after waking up and it was a kind of self-defence mechanism. I am and always were the person that likes to sleep until noon or even longer when I could, but sometimes, sleeping that long in a dorm shared with 6 other males and a dog **_(even or especially on my free days)_ ** wasn’t that easy. I think over time I just learned to switch off all the sounds around me, for the simple purpose of sleeping soundly.

I realised that I haven't been in a hospital for ages though so I wasn't used to everything being so quiet and I couldn't remember if it was normal for it to be so soundless here. It could’ve been because I was in an expensive room though, that I didn't hear the sounds from the people outside the room. And while everything still was being quiet, I started smelling the disinfectant even stronger now: Gosh, I hated hospitals.

Around then, I also realised the canola in my arm, probably supplying me with enough water since I didn’t know for how long I actually laid there. Maybe I had been unconscious for days, but there was no possibility for me to find out right now. For sure I felt damn tired but there was no calendar in sight and I didn’t have my phone which could have confirmed me the date. The huge TV that hung on the wall in front of me was turned off as well. All there was - a clock at the wall, telling me it was 5:23pm. Well, at least I knew the time now. At least I knew something.

After looking through the room my whole body started aching, slowly and not too bad at first, but then all of a sudden like crazy and I was starting to rather wish I was dead. I really was a person that couldn’t deal with pain, especially not if it was this intense. It was more than impossible to bear and even though I actually just laid there, not moving an inch - the pain wouldn’t stop. My eyes started tearing up and I wanted to scream but I tried to stay strong, biting my lip and holding it back.

Trying to distract myself, I was asking myself how the members - my friends who rather were like a family to me - were doing. I just hoped they were all right or at least better off than I was right now, which I thought was very likely, because I sat at the most dangerous spot when the crash happened. But what if anyone died? What if all of them died? It was a damn hard crash after all and I guess it was a huge miracle or misfortune **_(however you want to see it)_ ** that I was still alive. How could I live on happily if even one of them wouldn’t be there anymore? I realized that thinking about all those negative things was definitely no good, so I tried to think about all the happy things instead. I imagined their smiling faces and the loud laughter we all shared when we had fun together, but for some reason this just made me feel even sadder. I closed my eyes and felt warm tears, slowly running down my face. Being this sore and not knowing how everyone else was doing - this was already too much for me to handle.

I opened my eyes again in shock, when I suddenly felt some warm and familiar masculine hands on my face, carefully wiping away my tears. My eyes slowly focused on the male with platinum blonde dyed hair who had many patches and some smaller wounds on his face. Despite his and my situation he just smiled at me with that typical smile of his, that would always brighten up even the darkest night - Jackson. Gosh, I was so happy, knowing at least someone I knew was doing well. **_(And to be honest I couldn’t imagine him dying because he was too cheerful and stubborn to die to begin with.)_ ** But right now I was more than happy about being able to see this smile again, especially after thinking that I might never do so again.

I turned my head towards him, trying to give back a smile when he sat down on a chair next to me, but I eventually figured it was way too hard with that intense pain I felt rushing through my veins despite just doing the smallest and slowest movements, so I ended up showing him an unintentional painful expression instead, which just made him laugh a little. While the aching of my body got worse again, I still took some time to look at him: He wore a pair of simple, rather tight Jeans and a black muscle shirt so you could see a few bruises that covered his well shaped arms. I couldn’t catch any more details of him because I really needed to turn my head straight to look at the ceiling, so that it would hurt less. I knew one thing about his appearance though: He looked absolutely fine and damn handsome, even with those bruises and even though his style was just plain and simple.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jackson just sitting there, smiling like a child for a few minutes before he then said something, but to me it remained silent. I thought, I still wasn’t a hundred percent awake and that’s why I was not being able to hear what he said **_(which was very unlikely though)_ **. I blinked a few times in confusion after only seeing his lips moving. “Could you repeat that? I think I’m –” I suddenly stopped mid-sentence when I was not even able to hear myself. Jackson looked at me for a while, thinking I would finish my sentence, before he then once again said something - but again I couldn’t hear it. My eyes widened in shock before I then sat up reaching with my hand up to my head and damn that movement hella hurt. “Something’s not right…,” I mumbled, still not being able to hear anything, not even my own voice. From the corner of the eye, I saw Jackson looking at me full of worries for a few seconds, then he was jumping up from his chair looking around, giving me a hand gesture meaning “wait a sec, I'll come back”, before he then left. My body was aching again, when I turned my head towards the door - the direction that Jackson went, where he was talking to what seemed to be a nurse, pointing in my direction. Though the door stood wide open, they were only a few metres away and even though there were other people passing them in that corridor, I couldn’t hear a damn thing, which as well as the fact that moving even a little part of my body was so damn painful, annoyed me.

I slowly looked straight at the wall in front of me, trying to find a position that would make it more endurable, but I felt like my body was torn into pieces. My head started hurting like it would explode every second, my whole body felt hot as if I would be sitting in a sauna and I was sweating as well as shivering in pain. I bit my lip, wanting it to stop, wanting that all this wasn't real, but unfortunately my whole aching body clearly taught me otherwise.

I thought, I should’ve realised sooner that something was wrong, so I didn't have to trouble Jackson, but I knew this wasn’t even possible since I had only awoken a few minutes before he visited. On one side I always hated to make other people worry about me - be it fans, family or friends - I rather dealt with my problems alone, but on the other side I was actually happy that someone was with me and I knew that especially Jackson would help me wherever he could.

Jackson came back in and from then on it only took a few seconds for a Doctor to arrive, who discussed something with him in front of me. I saw the blonde shrugging his shoulders, then looking towards me with that extremely worried look on his face again. I returned him a confused look, not knowing what was going on. Doctor Kim **_(that’s what his name tag said)_ ** , then looked at me and clearly spoke to me but everything was still quiet to me so I shook my head slightly, but visible to minimize the pain, signalizing that I couldn’t understand a single thing he was saying. Doctor Kim checked my ears, then looked back at Jackson, telling him something. I began to become extremely mad, seeing how my friend was talking with that doctor - about me who was just right beside them - while I couldn’t hear a fucking thing **_(and reading lips didn’t work out as well)_ **. I was getting desperate. The world had to be kidding me: The worst car crash ever, being so sore I’d rather die, no Idea how everyone except Jackson was doing and now I’ve also become deaf? How could all this happen to me? And that over this short period of time?

Out of frustration, wanting to hear something - anything -  just the slightest sound, I started to fidget and damn, was that a bad idea because I was immediately being rewarded with a damn shitload of pain resulting in not being able to hold myself back from crying and screaming. I really wished all this was just a really bad dream, but again the immense aching I felt rushing through my whole body definitely taught me otherwise.

Jackson and that doctor looked at me and reacted as fast as they could, trying to calm me down. I couldn’t stop my tears while my breathing was a hard and unsteady panting because I couldn’t handle all this. I began to feel dizzy, the world around me slowly got blurry and everything began to move in slow motion. Not again. I definitely knew this feeling too well from before - it was that feeling before I would faint. I remember seeing some nurses coming in probably because they heard my screams, that I myself ironically couldn't hear. They were just shortly talking to Doctor Kim, before they nodded and took my bed - with me on it of course - to somewhere else, which made me feel like I was either rushed to an operation room because this was an emergency or rather like some sort of crazy person that needed to be handled somewhere else. Before I then passed out, I only saw a very blurred Jackson following next to me while holding my hand, apparently trying to whisper some calming words to me.

While I had been asleep, I received painkiller through my canola, so I didn’t feel these aches anymore and when I woke up again, I found myself in a rather small room, being linked to a lot of cables, put through a series of various tests - failing all of them if it came to hearing something. I couldn’t read lips or sign language, so I got notice of my condition in form of a letter, after I was transferred into the other room again . It told me that actually nothing was wrong with my ears or senses and that it wasn’t known if my deafness either was just a temporary thing or forever, but it was certain that it was caused because of psychological issues - a trauma. The sound of the frightened screams, the bending metal, the shattering glass - those sounds suddenly were replaying in my head and I felt some short but sharp headache. Closing my eyes, I realised that this had to be cause of all this. Those were the worst sounds I’ve ever heard in my entire life and I was sure, I never wanted to hear them again. I rather thought that I would die, not that I would lose my ability to hear because of those sounds, though it had been actually quite logical.

I opened my eyes again, when Jackson laid his hand onto my shoulder. I saw how he and another doctor **_(who probably stepped in for Doctor Kim)_ ** looked at me worriedly. “I think know it,” I spoke up. “The reason for that trauma.” It was weird to speak when you couldn’t hear yourself, so I automatically spoke slower and louder than usually. I slowly explained them everything, although I actually didn’t want to recap those things and when I finished, Jackson and that doctor discussed something, before the doctor then left for a few minutes, to come back with another letter about my condition. It stated that there was a possibility, though just tiny, for me to hear again, if I would visit a therapy to cure that Trauma. I immediately agreed to try this, because I figured it was definitely worth a shot, since remaining deaf was not an option as an Idol, where it is essential to hear the music to sing to it.

Since it had gotten late, the doctor **_(whose name turned out to be Kang)_** gave me a business card for a clinic that dealt with trauma patients, so that I could write them, before he then had to leave for another urgent case. Only a few minutes later, the visiting time ended and a nurse asked Jackson to leave so he did, albeit grudgingly when he didn’t even want to let go of my hand. I knew that if it would have been possible, he would have stayed the whole night, sleeping next to me, being as clingy as a child, always wanting to be close. **_(which had become normal for me, since we used to sleep like this in our room at the dorm)_**. He would start snuggling up to me, so he could feel my warmth, while I felt his sincere affection **_(or at least this was what I always tried to convince myself of)_**.

As soon as my friend was gone, I decided that I would try to sleep, closing my eyes. I was happy that I still received some painkillers, so I should have been able to sleep at ease, but laying alone in that cold, dark hospital room it was sheer impossible to. Instead of sleeping my thoughts began to run wild, keeping me awake. I tried to stay positive, but I kept thinking about what would happen if I wouldn’t be able to hear again. My thoughts wandered to all kind of worst case scenarios, like how it all would be my fault if GOT7 had to disband all of a sudden in case I stayed deaf forever. I would be the one in charge for shattering the dreams of my friends. We all had been so happy that we were able to travel the world, bringing happiness to so many people. Music was our whole life. What would I do if I had to move out of the dorm, back to LA, causing me to lose the members, my friends, because of this? **_(Given that they were fine.)_ ** I thought I would be all alone, having to deal with this myself, even though deep inside I knew, that there were many people who would always stay by my side. I shivered, curling myself up and biting my lower lip, then slowly starting to drift away into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please don't go too hard on me, since this is my first fiction I am publishing online and especially my very first one in English.  
> Criticism (but no hate) is always welcome in the comments!  
> Thank you~


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